The Unknown

I am unsure what to write, except that I have to type something here.  My interns came today, well one arrived last night.  I know they will be awesome, because God chose them to be here in the Bronx with me. 

It is just that I am not feeling ready for this...to train them and all. As flexible as I am, I just am having doubts.  I realize now that this dream of mine is about to take place.  The part where I actually have to proactively trust God to guide me through this.  The unknown of what comes next is getting to me.

Yes I know that we are not supposed to worry (Matthew 6), and that in reality we all do it (sadly).  This is my time to fulfill my promises that I have made in my first blog posts, and all I can think about is the unknown.  The what lies beyond...

But, you know what.  I am DONE with this overthinking thing...it is no longer going to have its day with me...it messes things up.

Instead of asking my critical questions that analyze what could be, what might be, and what just may perhaps occur.  I am going to ask probing questions, in order to plan. Questions of myself and NOT about the future, NOT of how to prepare myself, but of how God WILL use me.  The toil and toll of the work of the Lord is nothing to worry about because God will take care of me.  I do NOT have to fear the unknown; I must fearlessly face the future. 

This doesn't just apply to this summer, but to all life.  That girl I like, that job I want, that car I desire, that whatever:  these are things I should daily talk with God about and leave in His hands.  I do not have to be dismayed if things do NOT go MY way, especially when they go God's way.  For His way is the best way, even if I cannot see it.

But for this summer I am going to put myself in God's hands.  I am going to find His glory in ALL I do and make him my only hope for all the times beyond this moment.  So what if this summer is unknown, who cares if I am sleeping in the Bronx, what if I will be in a wreak tomorrow?  That should not concern me.

Let this be my prayer:

 
God, direct my thinking today so that it be divorced of self pity, dishonesty, self-will, self-seeking, and FEAR. God inspire my thinking, decisions, and intuitions. Help me to relax and take it easy. Free me from doubt and indecision. Guide me through this day and show me my next step. God give me what I need to take care of any problems. I ask all these things that I may be of maximum service to you and my fellow man in the name of the Your Son, Jesus, I pray. AMEN

 In this I will not focus on myself, but rather what God desires for me.  It will not be that feeling of worry, but rather waiting for what God's goodness and mercy will be for me.  David, the man after God's own heart, knew that God would be his guide.  As an example of God, I must do that as well and follow his lead.

Tomorrow is a new day to trust God, to reveal God to others through my faith.  I must serve my fellow missionaries with the same tenacity and proactiveness as I plan to follow God's direction.  Really it is time for me to FROG (Fully Rely On God).   For in him is the freedom to have joy and purpose and "life to the full."  To do this I must seek his face through prayer and personal devotion.

To being faithful and trusting in spite of the unknown,

Joeyb