A Year in Review

Over this past year, the newness I welcomed some readers to was more of a statement than an actual goal.  It was more a way to get attention for my writings than any other reason.  However as my months in the Bronx and week in Haiti showed me, it was really time to make that a true goal.  Yes, the voice of God is more real, the direction God has for me is more clear, and the breast of God is closer, yet I still have much work to be done before I am a city on a hill for Him.  I looked over the recorded words, from this blog, and noticed a pattern of goals:  some for me personally, for me between others, and most importantly between Me and God.

I saw that some changes were done well, other are near completed, more are only kinda, half done, and some are not even close to where they should be.  It is a sad reality that I returned to some complacency, because many of the steps to reach the big goals were set aside, even though some are  foundational.  Yet, I know that I am on my way to a positive transformation.

A week or two ago, I was talking to a friend who mentioned that "it's just going to take time" and that I might just have to more fully listen to God to make sure that things are working in the right direction.  I know that God is at my side to help and carry me though this time of change and shifting, but I need to get more steps in the Near Done list and out of the NOT Near Done list.  Of course, this is me planning and getting things in order before I act (which is something I am still working on).  At least I have seen changes actually take affect this past year. 

I know I have been Successful in getting some tasks done. I have begun to trust God (still not fully), I am committing my future goals to God, I have returned to P-GROW  (Pray, Read God's Word, Obey God's Word, Witness), and helping/encouraging others is happening.  I have become more other's centered to receive the JOY of God.  I have almost weekly be volunteering at Shippensburg Produce and Outreach on Tuesdays and learning to Pay It Forward.  When doing those things I have found that I naturally encourage them to do the same, and I offer encouragement without even realizing it. I am sure that is the Holy Spirit working within me and allowing me to bare my spiritual gifts, by making them a regular part of my life.

I still need to be patient with others and find peace in my preset circumstances, but the daily blessings of God and my friends are bringing me to add more items to my list of Near Done goals/steps. I am definitely more flexible in ideals and allowing others to share what they believe without fear of judgment from me.  I am allowing God to use this flexibility to guide me in the path of righteousness, and the Holy Spirit to reign in most aspects of my life.  I am surely more proactive in searching out ways that I can use my abilities to help others, but that could use more work, in the same aspect as the full JOY (Jesus first, Yourself last, and Others in between) of loving as Christ does.  I still at times believe that my personal righteousness and emotions must be first, but as the Fruit of the Spirit ripen in my life, and mature, I am getting better at that.

Yet, sometimes I am a usurper of the sovereignty of God on the throne of my heart.  I do not allow the Love of Christ to shine through, in the best way, rather I revert to my old way of manipulation to show people the way I think things should be, based on MY way I see the Scripture to be interpreted, rather than the merciful way God moves.  I reveal skepticism of new things that may be Christ-centered and test the motives of mega-church and modernist/postmodern belief systems (perhaps this is good to maintain [Acts 17]), but I do it in a way that is more about fear than Ferocious Fearlessness. I also asked people to create a Goal of asking What Would Jesus Do? and yet I have failed to be consistent in that too.  It is interesting to read what I wrote and how motivated I was to reintroduce that trend, but yet the fire has faded and the proactiveness I desire has not taken the full effect.  Perhaps more proactive Bible study and personal devotion, Like I did in January would help get these areas of life back on track, especially as I open all the closets of my heart to the Holy Spirit, and allow God to chisel away what must be removed.

Some things that still need removed:  LIST TOOO LOOOOONG.  Yet, I must be honest and share a few.  I certainly still fear failure, and therefore I must not act until I have a plan, in spite of the fact that God asks for faith in the situation.  I must empty myself of self-doubt and fill myself with the fullness of the Holy Spirit and allow Christ to reign in my life, especially because I am NOT always right or righteous in my thoughts and actions.  I must continue to study to show my self approved and set steps to reach the goals that God asks for me.  For he goes before, behind, and beside me every step of the way, I just most open myself to listen in faith, with action, so that I will not overanalyze what he asks. Then I will avoid petty disagreements and arguments (polemics) in both the spiritual and personal aspects of my life.  Once those things, and others, take place.  I can move being risky for God to the Near Done list and surrender all to Him.  Until that time has happened, until I feel that peace in my life, I must remember the words of this song and take actions to put God's plan for me into action.

He's Still Working on Me

 

 

Chorus:
He's still working on me
To make me what I ought to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The Sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
'Cause He's still workin' on me

Repeat Chorus

There really ought to be a sign upon my heart
Don't judge him yet, there's an unfinished part
But I'll be better just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands

Repeat Chorus

In the mirror of His word
Reflections that I see
Makes me wonder why He never gave up on me
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He's the potter; I'm the clay

Repeat Chorus (x2)


Serving to Preserve Remembrance

This past Monday was the observation of Memorial Day, a day that was initially set aside to honor those who defended the freedom of their country.  Yet, it has become a day for remembering to open the pool, start grilling, and not always honor the ones who died.  This does not lead to a weaker nationalism, per se, but it is a start that needs to be reversed.  Additionally, it is noted that if we are not trying to preserve our national heritage, it will be lost in a few generations.  That is something that needs to actively be pursued and continued, especially our establishment as a Christian nation.

Recent histories have claimed that our Founders were not Christians and gave little thought to God's providence in the establishment of this country.  They are trying to mess with the preserved history and ideals that made our nation great.  For if a nation ceases to be good, it will cease to be great.  We must serve to preserve remembrance of events like the first and second Great Awakenings.  Remember the stories of Jonathan Edwards, Charles Finney, D.L. Moody, Billy Sunday, and Billy Graham. Revisionism has created a culture that no longer fears God and therefore no longer obeys His commands. This is not good.  As Christians, we must resist the temptation to stand idly by as this occurs, because if we no longer set memorials for God, we will no longer have success in this land we possess.

We must also set an example of obedience in order to preserve our Godly heritage.  God told the Israelites this in two passages (Joshua 4 and Deuteronomy 8).  After 40 years in the desert, God gave blessings and promises to the Israelites, but warned them to follow his commands or face consequence.  In Deuteronomy God indicates that following Him will bring success "⁶ Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him. ⁷ For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills; ⁸ a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; ⁹ a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills."  If we revere God, then we will lack nothing.  Yet we in American are lacking this foundation, instead we have become proud of our own successes and desire to promote individualism and forget God.


Our nation no longer thanks God for the gift of prosperity He has given to us.  Since the 60s we have been taught that the rights of my individualism are more important than our corporate responsibility to follow God and Praise him for all he has done, and if we do not change this path it will lead to the destruction of our nation and a humbling of great proportions.  "¹⁰ When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.
¹¹ Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day....¹⁷ You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” ¹⁸ But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.
¹⁹ If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. ²⁰ Like the nations the Lord destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the Lord your God." This is just a warning and encouragement to begin to remember the past, and return following God to a prominent place in our everyday lives.

One way to do that is through remembrance and reestablishing the desire to memorize verses, asking about the past, and placing memorials in our homes.  Memorials are things serving to preserve remembrance of something and in this case it is our Godly heritage.  For me this has taken a special significance on Memorial Day, as it is a day the Brubaker extended family gathers for our reunion.  Over the past two years my uncle has been updating and reaffirming our family's spiritual heritage.  He gathered information and presented it over the past two years to remind us of the history of following God, especially through working in the Brethren in Christ Church.  We have honored God and made him a central part of our family history since before we were illegal immigrants in 1717, I know I have received undo blessings because of my ancestors obedience.  He has allowed for success as we followed Him and listened to His guidance.  Through my journey of this year, I have reshaped myself to fulfill what God wants me to do, and will continue to fulfill my family legacy, but passing on my Godly heritage.  It is this remembrance that pushed me to share this post.

Memorials are important to God, as throughout the Old Testament, much symbolism is found.  In Joshua 4, God directs the Israelites to symbolize their entrance to the Promised Land:  "⁴ So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, ⁵ and said to them, 'Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, ⁶ to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ⁷ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.'"   This memorial and the other that is established later is used to remind the people of God that they must obey His commands and that He had always provided what was best for them.  They did not always remember, and faced consequences, but the memorial always stood as a preserved remembrance for the people of Israel. 

It is time for Christians to take a stand and set forth memorials in the public square.  Stand against the believe that we are no longer a nation that follows God, and do something to helps our leaders and the pubic remember what it is like to truly follow the commands of God.  He will then provide for us, bless us, and give us the things we need, not just the power we desire.  So when future generations ask about our past, we do not give a revised version to please everyone.  We can say that God provided for us, and we serve to preserve a remembrance of his blessings:  living our lives for Him, following where He guides, and memorializing the debts paid by those in our history.  So that we may be able to say:  "²⁴ He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.”  (Joshua 4:24).  We all must choose what we serve, and the memorials of the past help guide our way, but we must choose to serve the Lord.  (24:15).

 

 

Paying it Forward

Trevor McKenney: I think some people are too scared, or something. I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they're bad - to change. 'Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses.

--From “Pay It Forward”

 

This January, I actively joined a group on campus called Pay It Forward (PIF). I joined for various reasons, but one, as lame as it sounds, was because I needed something to do.  Members of the group are encouraged to do good deeds around town or on the Shippensburg University campus, with the point of encouraging the one receiving the act of kindness to “Pay it Forward” and do a good deed to help someone else.  As their blog states:  “Pay It Forward [Ship U] is a movement that seeks to encourage the Shippensburg community [and beyond] to make acts of kindness an active part of daily life.”  As I went to regular meetings and actually went out and did acts of kindness, I could feel a shift in perspective.
 

I have always been a person that advocated for self-sufficiency and “the bootstraps theory,” but the more I helped others, and encouraged them to do the same, the more it became a lifestyle than just “something to do.”  I had not set out to really change the world, but I can see that extending a helping hand, or just randomly/anonymously paying for a strangers Starbucks drink or a meal can start a trend of joy and community.  Volunteering is another way that I was able to give back to the community that I have been part of for the last 8 years.  One of those places was the Shippensburg Produce and Outreach (SPO).  When I started to consistently do random acts of kindness, it became less random, I began to notice need around me, I wanted to passionately help others, then I shifted my perspective about making it a lifestyle, rather than something random.  I actively sought out opportunities to begin daily life with the aspiration to help others:  Bagging groceries for those in need, Encouraging others to environmental conscientiousness, Cleaning up around town, and Picking that random stranger to assist in whatever need was visible.

 

My experience at SPO has been beyond what I could have expected.  My first time I showed up, a month ago, I had no idea what to do; now I am the person that the people in charge ask advice from.  I was motivated by the hard work; now I am motivated to help the community of Shippensburg and those in need.  I was an able-bodied worker, now I am a willing servant.  I was a busy bee, now I am a consistent encourager of other group members.  I was an individual, now I am a member of the group.  I was exasperated, now I am affective.  I go every week with expectation of a challenge and putting joy into the hearts of those working with me, and then joy into the hearts of those who receive the bags of groceries/produce.  Some days the work is tedious and disgusting (e.g. rotting grapes or moldy strawberries), but it is helping to build a community that is based on reaching out to those in need.  The plan is for SPO to expand, but that does not happen without consistent volunteerism or willing workers.  My experience there has led me to want to inspire others, even those outside of my immediate community, to do the same (starting as soon as possible).
 

Soon summer will be starting, I would suggest trying the PIF lifestyle and proactive acts of kindness.  First find a copy of the movie “Pay It Forward” and watch it to gain a further understanding of this movement.  Then, find a place in your hometown to volunteer, once or twice a week.  Write inspirational messages and hand them out at work, or place encouraging posters on the post office or town hall bulletin board.  Clean up the weeds in the tree wells or gardens near your residence.  Just do something that will make your area of the world a better community.  Don’t complain that you have nothing to do, or that you work too hard, just figure out a way to improve your home and go out and do it. You will not only enrich our community, but you yourself will experience change in attitude and enhance your life.  If you do not feel like doing it alone, invite friends and colleagues, form a group at work that reaches out to develop a better community, create an initiative that encourages others to do the same, and have a blessed experience.  If you are in Shippensburg/Chambersburg Area, consider helping the SPO group on Tuesday afternoons (you can look up more info here: http://shipout.org/ or on Facebook) So, worry not about being bored this summer, or beyond, go out and make this world a better place; it may just lead to a change in perspective for you.

 



The Beginning of New Ends...

I know how to live up to expectations, I do not really know how to be who God means for me to be.




At least that is what I discovered over this past month and a half since I have last posted words in this blogosphere. I have protected/hidden my true vivaciousness and attitude behind the veil of traditions and expectations; allowing those things to define me rather than my obedience to the will of God. I am not really as I have appeared to be in the past, but I have let my head control my heart. I believe what I believe because "God said it, I believe it, and that settles it for me." However, I often took it a step further and wanted everyone else to believe and follow the same things.  While I wanted individualism for myself, I did not really want others to be free to make moral decisions. It is obviously necessary to have morals, but forcing them no longer works for modernity.   It has been said that I live in the 1950s or should have been born then because of the way that I live.  But since I used my head more often, reasoning and logic often got in the way of spiritual growth.

This past Thursday night/Friday morning I realized how my desire to be independent in my life (so that I could live up to God's rules and regulations), put me into a box and had build a defense around my true identity as a person.  I chatted with one of the campus ministers who offered a different perspective.  She said that my reverence for God (the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit) has blocked me from forming into a Christian that loves both God and others better than myself.  While that was hard to process, at first, the conversation proved that she was right.  She pointed out (very directly/bluntly) that I had a problem with manipulation and control, and that I must needs give up that focus if I am to grow to Fully Rely On God. If I am to truly live by the standard of "What Would Jesus Do?" and place complete trust in my maker, then I must totally had the Holy Spirit the keys to my house:  every room, every closet, and ever door that uses a skeleton key.  (It if for God to judge others at the end of times, and not my job to do it now.)  I must share this and warn others like myself, to be wary of total manipulation.

One thing she said that really struck me, almost in a blindsiding fashion, is that I must stop trying to control the ends.  As much as we desire something to happen and something to come true...we must use the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, who speaks to each one of us through the Bible and most effectively through prayer.  This interaction does not take place if we are complacent or lazy in our relationship with Christ; no relationship is successful without constant positive communication.  Resolving to maintain this consistency in deeper growth ignites a fire within the belly and spurs Christians toward the goal that God has for them. It will improve and be inflamed with greater passion to serve others, to Pay it Forward, and to change for real.  As the Holy Spirit guides and comforts, direction will come on God's timing.  This chronology may not be within our control, but it only happens at the proper time, and no sooner:  precisely when necessary and not a moment too soon. While perhaps waiting/patience is the hardest part, relying on God's timing removes our need to worry and will certainly pay off.  He will be there to guide and add faith and confidence as we entrust our lives to his full control.  However, passively abiding whilst God is preparing the way for you does not always work.  We must have a proper attitude and allow God to show us the way, and when we hear him we must follow.  Even if it means stepping far out of our comfort zones.



Something I would do, to protect myself from the outside world, is to ignore anything that would not fit my reality in Christ or to label it as false/unrighteous.  While striving for excellence, achievement and truth are wonderful things, they do not lead to perfection in Christ.  Rather what makes perfection in Christ are our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). I know that I would show strength, both false and real, to maintain control and to avoid failure.  I have coasted through life, because I never had to try:  well I didn't really attempt doing anything "risky."  Rather I would make sure the situation would benefit my success before I choose to pursue it.  Doing that had been highly successful, at least I had thought so.  In reality it pushed people away, it made them regard me as "holier than thou.." even though that was not my intention at all.  I did not rely on the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, rather I relied on my knowledge of Scripture to control the ends:  I got into grad school, I got a job, I avoided failure, I was a success. I followed all of the principles of the holy writ.  I felt like a humble servant of God, and while I did obey his commands to show I love him, but that was a misinterpretation of John 14:23-24.  I need to love God and he will give me the commands to obey/the direction to go.  He will guide my steps and push me toward the success he has planned for me (Joshua 1--see "be strong and courageous").  I must simply trust and follow, without blind obligation, with an ear to Heaven and an eye on the Scripture.  Openness and Brokenness will lead to the completion of the goals/resolutions that I set out for myself at the beginning of this calendar year.  Christ will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear and will provide a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13), so why should I not trust a God that cares for me that way.

For that reason and many others, it is time to cease the manipulation of the ends.  Rather than revealing my goals to God, and expecting Him to fulfill my plans, I must ask God to show me where to step as he leads me in the path of righteousness.   It is not for me, or you, to tell Him how to do anything, when he is in control the ends are not justified by the means, and the means are not justified by the ends.  Instead, everything that is done is just, right, and through love.  He will allow trials and tribulations, but we will not fail unless we do not trust him.  We are not Superman, nothing is truly possible on our own.  In Sunday School, we have been learning about Genesis and the Creation of the world. There God said it was not good for man to be alone (Chapter 2), and he meant it.  In Philippians, Paul shared that we can do all things through Christ (4:13).  God created everything perfectly, but when sin entered the world everything got messed up and he prepared to send Christ.  That story of Preparation is the entire Old Testament and God guided the Israelites, If he can direct an entire population, He surely knows how to inspire one person and lead them in the way that he should go.  He knows how to bring success, and because he created us for a purpose it is only right that we fulfill that purpose.  It is not good to put the omniscient, omnipotent God in a box, by limiting ourselves to a certain set of parameters.  With the right attitude, we have freedom in Christ.

It is time to live in a way that allows God to mold me into what I should be.  

Song Time: Break Me Down (2007)

BREAK ME DOWN Lyrics – BRIDGE BAND
"Don't make me strong - I wanna be weak
God break the heart - that beats in me
it's been too long - by my own strength
I try to make it right - but I keep failing

Break me down
it's when I'm weak that
I know you're strong
Break me down
it's when I'm weak that
I know you're strong

don't make me strong - i wanna be weak
make me a servant - instead of a king
oh my hardened heart - why can't you see
in your brokenness - His strength is perfect

I will boast when I am weak
So Jesus' power may rest on me

Listen to a cover:

This song returns me to my time as a Cell Group Leader of Mclaugle Men's Cell Group as part of Christian Fellowship at Shippensburg University.  It was a wonderful year with many special discoveries, both spiritual and communal. Of all the discoveries, one of the main ideas that kept popping up was that of having the right attitude defines motives, thoughts, patterns, and actions.  It was something we mentioned almost every week.  We would discuss it, delve into the details, and I would even do chalk talks on it (well give examples on the board.  It was beneficial to all of us, at least for those who really took it to heart.

Often I would learn something, yet despite my well-kept recordings of the cell group meetings, most things I would push aside, because I knew everything and my path in life.  Although I thought I had all of me in God that certainly was not the case, as I grew to know Him better.  All of God should have been enough for me, but I certainly did not rely on God as much as I thought I did.  I especially did not Fully Rely on God to help me in my growth.  Surely, I had trusted Him with my life when I was younger and sheltered from much of the world, and perhaps I let the Holy Spirit guide me most of the time, but it certainly was not all the time.

One of my "chalk talks" (those times that I fleshed out my thoughts through drawing pictures and writing on the chalkboard.) was about how our spiritual lives grow as we mature and how God must be invited to fill the space created by our spiritual expansion.  This can only happens as he fills us in each successive stage, much like the electron shells of an atom.  IF He is not allowed to fill that stage with his spirit, we can become stagnant in our personal growth and our connection to God will be weakened.  My experience has shown me that this has also been true with me, except I added a filler from Satan, and that was "humble pride".  I had known that sharing Christ was my strength from my days working with Child Evangelism Fellowship, but last summer God showed me that I had moved from him.

It was with this song he first showed me, and brought me back on the righteous path, but it was only for a while, after I had entered the new stage of spiritual growth.  I did not fully trust God to run the newly developed area of my life, although he created it.  It may also have been an area that plagued  me before, that I thought was under His control, that I took back into my own finite hands.  I did not trust the infinite wisdom of God, despite his greatness and omniscience.  I decided to take the lofts and prideful approach to witnessing and sharing my testimony, not integrating with those I suspected to be "rabble" or "insignificant" to my cause.  My attitude was all wrong...

That is when the summer hit, and boom God showed me where was wrong.  I confessed most of the things I had been doing, but He is still working on me.  This song came to me again, and I realized that my surrender this summer had not yet reached its fullest potential and that my resolutions were pointing me to change my attitude.  One of my friends has been chatting with me a lot recently, and I have begun to see the change as positive.  My weaknesses are his strengths.  The Holy Spirit will be my guide from now on, my actions to people will not be visceral when I feel God is offended.  I must trust that God is in control of it all; I must not be controlling my attitude from personal offense, especially if it is unwarranted. I think that my close friends are really seeing a difference in me.

I used to think failure was for those who weren't good enough, and that I would try my hardest never to fail, because I would be weak. My NEW attitude will show that if I fail, I will let God control what I do next, where I go, how I react, and when I either move forward or try harder.  That will certainly be hard for someone as proud as me.  Yet, with my goals and resolutions, that is most certainly possible.  I also must learn to love myself and to believe that I have achieved something, even if I have not reached my goal.  Each step should be at least a mini-celebration of the next step. Just like this realization is a victory over my negative attitudes that propelled me ever-forward. There is a God that has sent the Spirit to guide me, I must let Him.  

I must abide in him, no matter the test he allows to be put before me. As I do this I will grow to know him better, and people will know that I follow God because he is a loving God.  For my attitude is like His:  one that gives, shares, cares, and provides comfort to those who need it.  No more Mr. Nice Guy should be gone, he will be nurtured and fed with the Word of God, and the Council of His people.  My heart will be softened and pliable in the hands of the Spirit and under the wings of God will I abide.  Remembering that my weaknesses are the places the Lord will test the most to strengthen me for my next phase of growth. It is time for me to let go of my stubbornness and faithfully trust that God has a plan for my life and knows what is best for me (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

My prayer is that this example shows you a place God needs to work on you so that you can reach the next stage of growth and knowing Him more personally.  While rules and regulations help and obeying them is required to show our love to Him, we must--we must, show the emotion of a proper attitude and lean on his strength, so that he can build us up, after we are broken down.  Starting with the foundation, or where ever God shows you, let him remove the rubble/rabble and fill those areas with his strength, his power, and his love.  That is what it means to let him Break you Down.  Let us be an example to the world of Christ. :)

Letting Go of the Chisel (Controls)

 So, yesterday one of my interns from this summer, who is currently in the Bronx, sent me a link to a video that she thought would be beneficial for me.  She had seen my resolutions posted as my facebook cover photo and though this skit kinda went along with it. After watching it 3 times I was inspired by a few sections of the script and wanted to record/share my thoughts about them all.  The link is here for you to watch first if you wish. http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel-2008

Each section will begin with the text followed by my commentary.  Hopefully, what I am saying it clear and makes sense.

Eddie(as God):  Alright, are you going to talk or can I chisel? Which is it going to be- talk, chisel, talk, chisel?

Tommy: No, no, no, no! Chisel!

Eddie: Most of my children like to talk.

Tommy: Not me. Bring on the chisel!

 To everyone that wants God to be in control, comes the doubt of giving up ALL of ourselves to God and stopping to listen.  During times of change we want to talk to God, give him advice of where to chisel, and be the leader of the forming into his masterpiece.  Instead, we should have a conversation with Him, one that is two-way. Conversation involves talking, listening, and silence as responses are formulated. Sometimes, we just need to let God do His think while we are flexible and mailable for His work.

Eddie: Here we go. You have a lot of anger (he hammers the chisel on Tommy’s

arm then begins to move slowly around behind him), and some pride

(he chisels again on his back), you compare yourself to others instead of

me (he chisels again on his back)…

Tommy: Ow…

Eddie: …you’re lazy (moving to the other side Eddie chisels again on Tommy’s

back), but you pretend like you’re really, really busy (he chisels again),

you have a problem with lust…

Tommy: Okay, time out! I do not have a problem with lust.

Eddie: You don’t have a problem with lust?

Tommy: No, I can do it anytime I want (beat; realizing he has a problem). Okay.

(Eddie starts to begin again) Whoa, whoa hang on. Maybe we can take a

little time out. I mean, I think I’m doing pretty good.

 

I have realized that I often like God to work in the areas that I want to admit that I have trouble with, but the areas that temptation is either too personal, or I feel that I can easily control, I would rather deal with myself. I would rather deal with them on a personal level and not ask others to pray for what could hurt my pride by admitting I have trouble with. When other believers want to truly uphold us in prayer, it is important that we be vulnerable and humbly ask them to pray for our most hidden need. Rather that trying to "take a little time out" and closing ourselves in a bubble of self-righteousness, open up to God (and mentors/other Christians) and allow God to work no matter the cost to our self(ishness).

Eddie: You are doing pretty good, but when you look in the mirror who do you

see?

Tommy: I see me!

Eddie: Okay. Then I need to keep chiseling away, because ultimately you and

others need to see me. Here we go!

Tommy: Okay, hold on. Don’t take this the wrong way…it’s just that when I start

to look more like your Son, people get uncomfortable around me. Even

my friends at church are like “oh you’re holier than thou, why won’t you

do that?”

Eddie: So what you’re doing right now is that you’d rather play God in certain

areas of your life than for me to be God over your whole life.

Tommy: I did not say that.

 

We should want to reflect the light of Christ (loving, caring, and helping others), for two reasons.

1.  To submit to the authority of God in our lives and listen to the Holy Spirit's leading.
2. So that others will see his working and be drawn to Him.

Even if we are not accepted by others because of a "holier than thou" perception, we need to allow God to work in our lives, guiding our hearts and minds to a better way.  We need to hide ourselves and give up the pride we may have stored up and used as a wall of false protection from the uncomfortable.  God never promised a life of ease (he did promise comfort and that his "yoke is easy"), instead he said that his followers should expect trouble on every side, struggles, and tribulations.  Letting go may be the hardest part at first, but growing takes pain and struggle, (ie teenage years) that may seem like a burden.  Allowing this chiseling will mend brokenness and healing that will strengthen us.  God is mightier than us, God is the restorer of others, God is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.  He is infinite; we are not.  We should want others to see Him in us, and as John the Baptist said He shall become greater, and I shall become less.  Let him be in control, stop making choices and let him lead your entire life.

Eddie: What you’re doing right now is common. It’s called “controlling”. You

want to control the things in your life or can I chisel? Control, chisel,

control, chisel?

Tommy: No, no! Chisel!

Eddie: Here we go.

Tommy: But can we chisel where I want to chisel?

Eddie: That’s called control.

Tommy: Okay, okay.

Eddie: (He starts to chisel again) You’ve been holding onto this for a long time.

You ready for this?

 

Still, there are times, that we want to take back control.  It is time to instead surrender more, because as we age, more temptations come, more troubles arise, and difficulties increase.  God will be faithful to those who allow to work and remove all the dead weight that we have attached or allowed to grow on us.  We must ask him to be all for us, not just all about us.  Let him control the chisel, the potter's wheel, and measure our progress.  Opening our lives and looking for opportunities to glorify God, to serve others, and to be an example of Him. 
But if we have hidden wrongs and sins...this may be harder.  However, when we give everything to Him, it will be easier in the end.

Tommy: Okay. Chisel away. (Eddie begins to chisel again) Just be prepared for

what you’re going to find in there. I know who’s inside there. And

because, God, I get up every morning and I look in the mirror and it is

this scared little kid who gets up everyday and tries to dress like an adult

and act like an adult, but can’t. So just be prepared for what you’re

going to find in there.

 

We need to not be scared of what God will find.  He knows what is best for us.  Six thousand years ago he created a perfect world in six days.  He did an indescribable thing then, and since he is the same yesterday, today, and forever, He still will do indescribable things now too.  God can perfect us to his likeness, to his image, so even if we think we can NOT do something he calls us to do; we should know that He will equip us for the task he calls us for.  He knows what is going on in our heads, our hearts, and our whole being, we do not have to warn God.  Instead, we should apologize for trying to be in control and confess that we need the change he plans for us. We need to have faith that he will do what is best for us. 

When this happens, we will not have to worry. Our thoughts can become His thoughts, our ways will become His ways, and Our hearts will feel what His heart does.  We can have a complete conformation and become what he desired in the first place.

God will make us a new creation, his prefect original design, when we declare that He is Lord of our life and Lord of all things we think, say, or do.  It is that easy....

 

I am Resolved to be Resolute

Well...Merry New Year.

New of course as usual being the operative word that seems to be in almost every one of my posts.  It is like I am stuck to new and not going about moving forward to reach my goals that were set about six months ago.  Not that this is necessarily true, but it at least appears to me that I am not achieving the newness that I desire as fast as I would like.

Surely "good things come to those who wait"  and "old habits die hard", but that is not the way of the proactive lifestyle that I desire.  Yes, patience is a virtue, and patience is becoming of everyone, but that does not make my longing to change be any less potent. Nor does it change the fact that "idle hands are the devil's playthings (or workshop)".  Since I have ventured on my own, and into my personal apartment, that seems to hold very true, especially because I never really made a plan to complete my goal.

I just reacted to things that came along.  I went to church, then went home and enjoyed FaceBook and the musings of commentators discussing live games of football (or the ESPN gamecast).  I would pray, half-heartedly.  I would barely touch the scriptures, unless I was looking to refute a statement that someone else made.  I want to say that I followed God's Word, but I can certainly say that I did NOT even live up to my own expectations, let alone God's. I witnessed for Him, sure...but it was a toned-down effort that was not enough to really count for much.  I mean it surely was not getting me closer to my main goal.

Instead my "free time" found me enjoying videos and tv episodes online, especially after working from 3-11. ( I don't have a tv or cable.)  I mean I do enjoy the nuances of plots and attempting to figure out what comes next.  I did read books like Lord of the Rings and followed the news, as well, I just spent way too much time on the other. The analytics keep my brain active and attentive...but not in achieving my goals. 

However, it took me forever (3 months...haha) to come to the realization that I was again waiting for things to happen and the good things to come as I waited.  Didn't happen, period.  I still have my wishes and desires that I dispassionately inquire God for an answer. Which for some odd reason weren't answered.  (Insert failed attempt at sarcasm here).  Therefore, with the New Year coming, and the prompting  of the age-old practice of creating resolutions arriving, I knew it was time to create the steps to complete the task of reaching my goals, successfully.

Thanks to family who prompted me and friends who advised me, I was able to come up with a list of things that benefited my daily life by directing changes to physical, spiritual, and mental parts.  I worded them into simple, yet succinct, statements that are easy to remember and helpful to my heart, soul, mind, and strength.  After each is a reason for each or a motivating point that will enforce each goal.  I made them into a poster-sized word doc and printed a few out, created a jpeg, and even made it my cover photo on FaceBook.  If I am not constantly reminded of the need to proactively address my need for change I am not sure what else I can do and not over do it.  This is the first time I took the initiative to do something this poignant.  These are not, however; the traditional New Year's Resolutions that are to be forgotten after the first week--although, I have not done a great job thus far--they will be LIFE goals and steps toward my personal reformation.  So without further ado I will reveal them here (if anyone wants they can randomly call me out and keep me accountable to my promises):

 

 

 

 

Coincidentally...today at Mowersville (church), Pastor mentioned that this week is Prayer and Fasting week in our BiC church as a whole.  It is time that I truely remove all things holding me back and confess to God those sins that are keeping me from clearly hearing Him, as a result of my stint in the Devil's Workshop.  I am going to give up my lunch time for God, each day, and finally break free of the negatives that have continued to hold me back, even after the first week of July.

I am Resolved to be Resolute.

Joeyb