New of course as usual being the operative word that seems to be in almost every one of my posts. It is like I am stuck to new and not going about moving forward to reach my goals that were set about six months ago. Not that this is necessarily true, but it at least appears to me that I am not achieving the newness that I desire as fast as I would like.
Surely "good things come to those who wait" and "old habits die hard", but that is not the way of the proactive lifestyle that I desire. Yes, patience is a virtue, and patience is becoming of everyone, but that does not make my longing to change be any less potent. Nor does it change the fact that "idle hands are the devil's playthings (or workshop)". Since I have ventured on my own, and into my personal apartment, that seems to hold very true, especially because I never really made a plan to complete my goal.
I just reacted to things that came along. I went to church, then went home and enjoyed FaceBook and the musings of commentators discussing live games of football (or the ESPN gamecast). I would pray, half-heartedly. I would barely touch the scriptures, unless I was looking to refute a statement that someone else made. I want to say that I followed God's Word, but I can certainly say that I did NOT even live up to my own expectations, let alone God's. I witnessed for Him, sure...but it was a toned-down effort that was not enough to really count for much. I mean it surely was not getting me closer to my main goal.
Instead my "free time" found me enjoying videos and tv episodes online, especially after working from 3-11. ( I don't have a tv or cable.) I mean I do enjoy the nuances of plots and attempting to figure out what comes next. I did read books like Lord of the Rings and followed the news, as well, I just spent way too much time on the other. The analytics keep my brain active and attentive...but not in achieving my goals.
However, it took me forever (3 months...haha) to come to the realization that I was again waiting for things to happen and the good things to come as I waited. Didn't happen, period. I still have my wishes and desires that I dispassionately inquire God for an answer. Which for some odd reason weren't answered. (Insert failed attempt at sarcasm here). Therefore, with the New Year coming, and the prompting of the age-old practice of creating resolutions arriving, I knew it was time to create the steps to complete the task of reaching my goals, successfully.
Thanks to family who prompted me and friends who advised me, I was able to come up with a list of things that benefited my daily life by directing changes to physical, spiritual, and mental parts. I worded them into simple, yet succinct, statements that are easy to remember and helpful to my heart, soul, mind, and strength. After each is a reason for each or a motivating point that will enforce each goal. I made them into a poster-sized word doc and printed a few out, created a jpeg, and even made it my cover photo on FaceBook. If I am not constantly reminded of the need to proactively address my need for change I am not sure what else I can do and not over do it. This is the first time I took the initiative
Coincidentally...today at Mowersville (church), Pastor mentioned that this week is Prayer and Fasting week in our BiC church as a whole. It is time that I truely remove all things holding me back and confess to God those sins that are keeping me from clearly hearing Him, as a result of my stint in the Devil's Workshop. I am going to give up my lunch time for God, each day, and finally break free of the negatives that have continued to hold me back, even after the first week of July.
I am Resolved to be Resolute.
Joeyb
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