Evaluating the Inventory

This past year and one half have been life-altering and simply interesting.  I have learned that while being a stick in the mud can be enjoyable for a time, sometimes an individual can change, for a positive.  Not saying that everything I have done is wonderful, or even great for that matter, but I know that I have completed shifts in my resolve to be resolute. Still posted on my corkboard in my kitchen are the list of 8 changes that I decided to focus on this year.  Those were certainly some major shifts that began to actually take place, some more than others, but at least I kept to my commitment.

I now I could have done better, seeing I have probably been out of this recliner for about an hour of the 7 that I have been home since church this morning.  It was in church that Pastor reminded us to evaluate our lives, goals, and beliefs, as we walk through everyday, but specifically here at the end of the year when it is common to set "resolutions" for the upcoming year.  He mentioned how the United States professes to be about 70% Christian, yet more than half of those individuals are "in name only".  It is important for each one of us to be on our guard and focus on shifts/decisions that need to be made to bring us closer in our relationship to God and other believers.  That was certainly on my mind as I evaluated the choices I made with regard to my list.

I did very well with being straightforward and being much more expressive, which has allowed me to increase/solidify my relationships with other believers, even some with differing systems of thought.  The best thing I did this year was begin Paying It Forward, especially at Shippensburg Produce and Outreach, in tipping and handing out free tickets for Frosties.  The last time I did it was Saturday, and the look on those young families' (especially the little girl) faces, is priceless. Handing out the bracelets each time I do it, has proved to be a wonderful tool in spreading cheer and happiness, hopefully they continued the passing of good deeds.  I also know that without trying to improve this area of my life I would never have consented to relinquishing my role as a learner and becoming a Sunday School Teacher. Or so I thought I was relinquishing that role; I was enhancing it, because I knew that I had to return to my CEF roots and relearn all I knew to make it understandable for the elementary children.  It is awesome the new information that I have learned by hearing the reason the students give for Jesus coming to Earth, why to be a friend, and performing Christmas plays after a month of Sundays spent practicing.  Along with that I am trying to teach them to grow in prayer as I have, but that is probably a lesson for later.

I myself have improved in that area, but I still have to remember that Everything works out when we listen to God (Romans 8:28).  Something I am certainly needing to work on, but I know that as I pray and hand things over to His care, He will be faithful to help me in all circumstances, not just the ones I want help in.  But I can choose my attitudes and perspectives in every situation...as my friend Amy pointed out. "Will this be important a year from now?...Do I really need to worry that much about it."   Just being positive can change everything.  I know I am still working on placing my passions through productive emotions, but since being called out (last month) on my "anger" at work, I have certainly reached positive progress...

Yet there are many, many more things that must be adjusted/drastically changed for me to be more well-rounded, kind, and loving.  I know that I am nice to everyone, unless they don't listen to me or allow at least some credence when I speak.  I shared this with a friend who dared poke into my wound further to define the real cause:  selfish pride.  Not just the "WHOOOOOOO---HOOOO-I-am-awesome" type of pride, but the deep down I-know-better-than-you-do kind. I don't feel I belittle people, but I have now been told that people are scared of me (thanks...it was truly a wake-up).  Yet it was not really what I expect to hear, since I cannot even see that about myself (silly nohari window blind spot http://kevan.org/nohari?).  It is just that I figured that if I didn't think about it (my anger) it would go away...and that is why my past decisions still come into play so often.  I played the role of the insensitive, intolerant individual so well, that I began to become those qualities without seeing it; but I know now how to fix it, and have been letting God do it, with the help of near and far away friends praying for me.  That is my one major goal for life-changing directionality shifts.

My second major resolve is due in part to my reading of Robert Rogers book, Into the Deep, which is available from his ministry Mighty in the Land. (http://files.tyndale.com/thpdata/FirstChapters/978-1-58997-378-7.pdf).  He came and spoke at Roxbury Holiness Camp, and the message hit me hard and stuck with me:  Give everything to God, Live with no regrets, and Make memories with the special people in your life.  (Wow...it still gives me the chills, just trying to imagine how he dealt with everything that happened to him and his family.)  Simple, yet profound; easy to say, yet even harder for me to do.  I have surely begun to work on the memories part already (a 5k and a 10k with Megan Hahner this year), and I plan to finally meet Amy Sickles face-to-face on the 4th of January...but I certainly can do more to improve in that area.  It is those other two that I specifically offer as a challenge to anyone who reads this post:  Let God control ALL of your life, and Live focusing forward only.  God knows what happened, and He has a plan to care for you, in every step of the way.  I still have plenty of regrets that I must lay to rest, but I know that with God's help and guidance, those things with definitely be put to rest sooner that later...within the next year.  It is time for me to stop putting it off.  God has already blessed me with a good job and loyal Christian friends, it is past time to allow Him to bless me with what he has prepared in advance (Ephesians 2:10 ).  Perhaps I will get a jump start by purchasing Rogers guide to living without regrets, but before that happens I can launch myself into better devotional and prayer time with God.  Yet in taking a full inventory, I know I am missing some things.

Do I continue to find new things to learn?  Not enough.  Do I read  like I used to?  Not with the internet distraction (Facebook and online programs).  Should I visit/call/Skype friends more?  Probably, yes.  Should I exercise/run more?  You bet!  Nap?  less...lol. I certainly need to get out of the apartment-to-job and job-to-apartment pattern of laziness.  Should I cook for myself more?  For sure..(Although eating out is ok.)  Should I be more clean/organized?   YES, hands down.  Should I focus more on my work and use more effort?  Definitely!  Should I become who God wants me to be?  That is the plan.  Could I go on?  Yes, but I won't....because reading it would be tedious, but these questions are to start your critical thinking.  Hopefully I stirred your neurons and got you thinking about resolving to be resolute about the future, giving you a platform from which to launch, and add more to you inventory in the next year.

Happy New Year!
Joeyb

Ya Gotta Wanna

This post is for thinking about how much God wants to be Immanuel (With Us).  If we take time to read the Scriptures, it is obvious that God loves us (Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:4-5) and he desires fellowship with us (1 Corinthians 1:9).  God has given us the opportunity to reciprocate that love.  We are given a choice if we would like to return it, as he will always love us, but we can choose not to as well.  God has given us the free will to choose Him over following another, and he as been the closest to us as he has ever been.

God walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden, but when they broke that fellowship by sinning against Him and disobeying His rules, God only made a few appearances to righteous men.  He came to Abraham many times, walked in front of the former slaves guiding them, spoke with the prophets giving them signs and warnings, and sent his angels at other times throughout the Old Testament.  The Israelites, his people, needed Him to bring them words and statements of comfort, but at times they missed God's warnings or refused to heed.  Yet all those centuries between Adam and Mary (14 generations times 3), God was waiting to fulfill his promise to Eve at the proper time.  When that time came, Jesus would walk among us.  We celebrate that occurrence around Christmas time.

Now think about the Olympic Athlete.  Each one works toward a specific goal, a certain race, that all comes down to the one chance on the biggest stage.  These men and women focus on the minute details and the big picture and work tirelessly to become "the best".  While it may come naturally to some and they may not have to work as vigorously, everyone still has to work to get closer and closer to the goals of success and a gold medal.  These individuals want to win, they want to achieve, they want to be the best they can be, to beat the others that believe that they are the best.  Their dreams carry them, their motivation is always different, but each athlete has the same focus.

The want to work, because they know that the end result will probably be amazing and potentially record breaking.  Our desire to be with God should surpass the desires these athletes have.  He gave up everything to be Immanuel (Philippians 2) just so that He would be closer to us.  No longer do we have to go to a priest to speak with God, BUT we still must choose to spend time with Him.  We must choose wisely how we spend our moments, how we live, and how God becomes the force that moves our lives.  We gotta wanna allow Him to have that complete control.

Just like the athlete, who wants that medal so badly he will do whatever it takes (within reason or not) to achieve,  it takes time and effort to learn to let go of our problems, issues, and circumstances and let God have complete control.  While it can happen overnight, it is not always the case.  God works on us, but we gotta wanna let Him  God sent his son to be with us, so that the Holy Spirit could come and dwell among us.  We are his children, and he takes us back when we fall, but we gotta wanna let Him do his bidding.  We gotta wanna follow his leading and be willing to do what he asks of us, IF we want his promised blessings.  And not just in the good times either, in the hard times it may be harder, but we gotta wanna trust God even more.  We must fully rely on his loving-kindness and patience as He molds us.  Yet before this transformation can take place, we gotta wanna let him do it.

Sure we will struggle at times, there will be problems, but we can have peace, as God is "with us."  Jesus promised many things to his disciples.  One that I cling to most often is in John 16:33 where Jesus says this: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  God is greater than our struggles and fears.  Our hearts gotta wanna allow Him to care for our struggles, we must turn our hearts toward our Heavenly Home and be heaven-minded, because the fourth quarter is coming.  While this is not a post about the last days, it is important to note that we draw nigh the time of Jesus' return.  When that happens God will no longer walk on this earth "with us", as he has for the past 2,000 years, but rather we will either be taken to walk with Him in Heaven or be separated forever from Him.   Yet, for now we gotta wanna bring our minds to focus on God, our hearts to desire His will, and our bodies to follow the direction the Holy Spirit leads.

God has had this plan for the last 6,000 years, we cannot thwart what He has set in motion.  We just need to learn to follow Him, and we cannot do it, if we are not willing.  We must choose to loyally follow his guidance and be led to his throne, until he comes for us.  Faithfully serving God will bring benefits beyond our understanding, but we gotta wanna.  It is just that complexly simple...or as Nike says "Just Do It".  Ya just gotta wanna.

Keeping the Thanks in Thanksgiving

"And thus they [the pilgrims]

found ye Lord to be with them in all their ways, and

to blesse their outgoings & incomings, for which let

his holy name have ye praise for ever, to all posteritie."

--William Bradford in Of Plimoth Plantation 

During this time of year (commonly referred to as "the holidays", since the general public forgets to separate Thanksgiving and Christmas), we as Americans begin a period of thankfulness immediately followed by a instant need for new things-at least in the adult world.  In elementary and secondary schools across the country there are references to the Pilgrims and the first Thanksgiving.  While much detail is not available about the specifics of this day.  It can be seen in the quote above, that the leaders were praising the holy name of the LORD, forever.  Yes, forever, not just when it was convenient, or after they had survived the longest winter of their lives. Reading the entire anthology shows that these Separatists found time to praise God always for his provisions; despite being driven to the Netherlands, stored on a Ship for months, and stuck in a perilous winter, they worshipped and were thankful to God.  This model should be followed by current generations, but it seems being truly thankful, in a heartfelt way, has gone by the wayside (along with many other core Christian values).

This quote also serves as a lead in to my point of remembering that having an attitude of thanks is NOT just a once a year thing.  It is not simply a time of gathering and sharing words that have no meaning; we may SAY we are thankful, but is the statement true?  Or are we just impressing others with our "skill" of stating sayings of gratitude. I know that in reality it is easy to share thoughts that come to our minds without bringing in any heart, that is why an effort must be made to be truthfully thankful.  Being in that emotional state, shows true gratitude over the mental ability to share thanks. It may seem that I am talking in circles, but the point is that we must always have an attitude of gratitude.  NOT just toward others, but we must honor the Lord with our Thanks, praising his holy name forever.

Today in church, my pastor shared with the congregation how God is not only deserving of out thanks because he created the universe and us, but because and attitude of thanksgiving in our hearts draws us away from the world and closer to Him.  If we just take time to observe our natural surroundings, we can find simple things to be thankful for (air, trees, birds, sunlight, eyes, etc), that we forget the complex nature that God placed in each of these objects when he created the world.  His divine nature and omnipotent power should be obvious, unless our spiritual eyes have been clouded by this world and the sin therein.  We are certainly thankful for our lives, in spite of the fact we rarely share it aloud.  I know that personally I am more silent in my sharing/giving thanks, but I am working on sharing more expressively.  Therefore, if we are truly children of God and followers of His son, Jesus, our first inclination should be to give Him praise and thanksgiving.

Throughout David's emotional pleas in the Psalms, there is frequent mentioning of thanking, praising, honoring, glorifying, and singing to God for what He has done.  As His followers we must giving thanks to Him, even in our petitions, as I mentioned in an earlier blog about prayer.  God deserves these because He is God, obviously.  Psalm 100 provides a blueprint for the reasoning and words it much better than I could:

"A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

¹ Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
²     Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come before him with joyful songs.
³ Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his^[a];
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. 

⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
⁵ For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations."

 Again, forever, not just because we are specifically happy or joyous, but always.  Thanksgiving can bring us to guard our hearts from evil.  As mentioned above, we are His because He made us, and for that reason alone we should praise his holy name.  Praise should also be bestowed because He is good and He loves and cares for us faithfully.  Yet, it seems that we have forgotten this, as a culture, as Americans.  We know of God, but we forget to try to know Him more deeply, especially on a positive emotional level.  I am not saying that to know God one must be emotional, rather I am attempting to indicated that to fully know God, and His purpose in our lives, we must allow Him to affect our attitudes and our emotions.  If we turn our eyes from Heaven and focus on thanking things of this world there are consequences.

Being drawn to the world means that we are drawn away from the heart of God and the peace that He gives. Romans 1:21 makes this clear "For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened."  As the chapter progresses, Paul shares the foolishness and futility that comes to pass if God does not have full control of our lives, AND IF we do NOT thank him for is indescribable gifts.  While we must appreciate the things we have on this earth, those things must not be held in esteem above God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit.  Our attitude should be monitored and controlled with the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).  Above all, our thankfulness should be a mindset (and emotion) of God first.

Putting our faith and trust in God, should naturally force us to honor and glorify Him ALWAYS and praise Him constantly.  Although it is necessary to highlight this need for thanksgiving around the fellowship table, our bond with God should last throughout the year and not just when we need reminded around the Thanksgiving and Christmas season.  Yes, turkey family, food, and football are great things to pass the time on a certain day (thanks Abe Lincoln), they are not what is most worthy of all our praise.  That honor is reserved for the Creator God, let us put the true Thanks back into Thanksgiving, and let us bring praise and glory to our Lord for the blessings that He bestows upon us and for His faithfulness that lasts forever.

Purposeful Prayer Partnerships

In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul gives final instructions to the Christians in Greece. He gave a short succinct listing of admonitions in order to direct the followers to simple tasks to keep them close to Christ.  One verse (17) shows the need for us to pray continually-to pray without ceasing.  Never stopping to share with God our praises for Him, our thanks for His provisions especially in our weakness, and our desires to hear from Him our personal petitions.

Sometimes these prayers come in our deepest glooms; other times these requests come during the glorious highs in life.  Yet, during times of restoration and renewal the desire to pray can be repressed.  Rather than trusting and turning to God, we hide our brokenness and weaknesses, but we trend away from our faith at the same time.  This simultaneous straying can cause a systematic failure that causes separation from our ability to give thanks in all circumstances and rejoice always.

With this struggle for direction, it is important to find a brother, or sister, in Christ to join you in your search (Galatians 6:2).  While the burden Christ gives is not impossible to get out from under, and should be light, it can be difficult to escape if we, as Christians, cannot share our struggles with others, without fear. In my first year at Shippensburg, our McLaugle Men's Cell Group was encouraged to find an accountability partner.  We were asked to bond with this individual and to join in responsibility for one another.  Each of us were to remind the other of need for fellowship, friendship, and faithfulness to God, while having each others back in any circumstances, but especially through prayer.  These prayer partnerships must not come with shame, but rather with peace and purpose.

Fellowshipping with a brother in need is helpful, but coming together in unison can bring restoration, renewal, and revelation.  Recently, I joined in an intense week a prayerfulness with a distant friend from Georgia.  Because of the personal requests that Amy Sickles kept sharing with me, and my desire to assist, we decided to do a week of fasting and praying over the lunch hour.  We decided to daily share the encouragements/inspirations/songs/scripture that we would receive during the hour or so of prayer. Although we were praying together whilst separated, each day it was more intense and fulfilling.

The first day of our prayer-fast Amy sent me a powerful scripture that set the tone for the week.  In Isaiah 8:11-22, the prophet shares the need for people to test the encouragement of others against the truth of God's Word and it also warns of actions that can occur if one does not turn to God, especially during times of worry.  This went along with my verses from Matthew 6, where Jesus spoke about not worrying but rather trusting in God...basically the core answer to the request we had brought to God.  Amy was thinking of shifting her major and direction at her Christian college and other things, whist being concerned about the future.  I was searching for my worthiness in my work for God (which was answered when I started teaching Sunday School to the 3rd-6th graders at Mowersville) and trying to find peace in a decision.  Our hope in Christ became more unshakeable each day we prayed and fasted.

Each day more peace and direction was delivered in songs and scripture that allowed us to come to a wonderful conclusion about our prayer partnership.  It was an amazing experience and increased my passion for serving others through allowing God to be my awe-inspired director and having the Holy Spirit be my guide.  Not just in a superficial façade, but rather in a responsible, reflective way, showing that my strength is not my own, but rather it comes from Him being in control.  Amy received many answers to her petitions, while still having some specific questions to be answered.  She did receive an overarching answer that shows that a purposeful prayer partnership yields positive results, and enhances our personal relationship with God, but it CANNOT replace it but any means: "Don't put your trust in men, trust Me [God].  Come to Me. Take refuge in Me."  This wondrous message sounds like the conclusion that David came to many times within the Psalms.  We both realized the importance of our prayerful partnership and upholding each other spiritually, despite our physical separation. 

While she has since changed her major and made decisions about her future, we still share in this partnership, just not as intensely.  I have been awaked to the need for trusting others with my struggles and burdens, despite my difficulty of being open about my "issues and problems" (aka fears).  Being ferociously fearless also means being open and vulnerable in all situations, in spite of how exposed we may feel. However, if our fellowship with others is clouded by mistrust, ask God to bring a mentor, friend, and/or prayer partner into your life.  Allow Him to nurture that trust, build it, and cause it to grow...it is an amazing feeling.  I know, because there is a small emptiness in my heart when I have not communicated with Amy in a while. In His omnipotence, God will help us to find that person that can be our partner, because we all need a close fellowship with other believers.  I am privileged to have someone that I can trust with highly guarded requests; it is making it easier to embrace my desire to be proactively real with God.  I have also noticed changes in my pursuit of my personal life resolutions.

This purposeful partnership has almost forced me to address my statements of resolve from the beginning of the year.  Over the past month, I have surely begun to share more expressively and be more straightforward.  When asking Amy to pray for a request, I have to be willing to open my heart and share what is on my mind, not in words of cheap expression, but rather in specific terms.  I need to directly share what is on my conscience, or it will be difficult for us to pray for each other.  While we are still praying from a distance, I am hoping to soon close that gap with the use of Skype over the Internets...which will be a very interesting experience, when it finally occurs.  The best result is that I now pray with more positive expectations.  My expectations are more for Amy's requests, because I have seen her succeed, and because of that I have trusted more in the fullness of God, who sustains those who serve Him and obey his commands. (Obviously, I need to see results...smh.)  I just can't wait to see how integrating this personal approach will help others as well.  Feeling the Glory of God while supported by another believer is a blessing that has caused spiritual growth in my life...try it!



Joeyb


P.S. A special thanks to Amy Sickles for allowing me to share part of her personal life.

Roxbury Review (2013)

So, I think it is finally time to work on my report about my week at Roxbury, or I might have waited too long (it has been a month since then).  Although Roxbury Holiness Camp cannot really be transferred from emotions and thoughts to quality words, I am going to give it a chance; it also should be experienced to understand the happenings more fully.  There is so much that I can write about, but I am going to find the most meaningful quotes and explain them the best I can.  I wish to share the change I felt, but you can determine my success.

Roxbury is a very special place where there has been peace and finding God for over 75 years.  The 10-day camp was started in a Dance hall and moved to a new location a few years later, as it expanded and a new site was built.  Many speakers have brought the message of God's expectation of holiness in our lives and how that can be added to the spiritual growth process and maturation.  I attended as a very small child through my teens on the two weekend Sundays, and I learned very many things in Children's camp and the Main Tabernacle. From 2008 (When I was first in the Bronx) on, I have attended on Missions Day (Wednesday) and began to go all week in 2010.  This year I had to take off work to attended, but it was well worth it.

If you have read my previous post on Prayer, you know about my experience in the prayer team, every morning and evening.  My experience there was uplifting and challenging, but the sessions and services in the Main Tab reached even deeper in my soul.  However since I cannot recount everything, I want to share the most fulfilling remembrances that positively touched my soul.



"You have heard that it was said...but I say unto you"   Jay Smith

Jay Smith is a Brethren in Christ (BiC) missionary and scholar of Islam.  He works in the United Kingdom (London) to debate and confront the Muslims at Speakers' Corner.  For over 20 years he has debunked the traditional believes of Islam as a religion of peace, and challenged many passionate followers of Allah, to follow Jesus.  He came to the United States to share new changes in the debate and ways to protect America from a negative infiltration of the Islamic ideology.

Besides his strong passion of polemics and apologetics, I was drawn to his inspirational knowledge and went daily to his sessions about defending Christianity and debunking the claims of Islam.  Yet one thing he constantly repeated, I cannot get out of my head, the quote above.  It seemed that he would repeat this premise every time he spoke.

This quote is a reference to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5.  Jesus is speaking to the crowd, that had gathered, about the old law and the new expectations of the new law.  The old law focused on the action of sins, the new law addresses the motive of the heart.  As the sermon progresses, the heart of the matter boils down to loving and caring for others; it is not responding to sin with a native action, but instead doing good to everyone around us (almost Pay it Forward).  We as Christians are to model this approach to our interactions with others.  This includes forgiveness, especially when we cannot fathom a reason to do so.  Dwell on that for a while.


"Tarry is the archaic equivalent to 'hanging out'."  Kevin Mannoia

Dr. Mannoia  was a speaker during the final weekend, and he is the founder and chair of the Wesleyan Holiness Consortium which was founded in 2004, which aims to guide efforts and projects focused on holiness in the 21st century for pastors, unity within and among the participating churches, a holiness voice to the broader church, and the importance of holiness in the future mission of the church.  My church denomination is a member of this group.  He had many interesting thoughts and points that I firmly disagreed with, but one of the statements that I found intriguingly correct was the above quote.

His work is focused on understanding the meaning of holiness.  One thing he said was that in this modern world is it difficult for people to understand the need for holy living through the traditional means of separation from the world, and being a model of Christ.  However they do understand the importance of hanging out and spending quality time with people that are the same.  In doing so we will become a cohesive unit and strong in our relationships (in order to uplift each other and unite our gifts).  Doing so will merge our natures and over time the subtle shifts will result in change.

More importantly, We must tarry with God.  He commands us to be holy and perfect has He is (Matthew 5:48 & 1 Peter 1:13-16), and the best way to do that is to spend time with Him.  Yet, not just spend time, briefly, in devotions or at church events, but rather to linger in expectation that he will do something with our lives.  As we stay in His presence his holiness will "rub off" on us, and we will be affected by the purity and perfection of God.  Our changes will allow us to reflect God, for being in close proximity to God will cause a transformation of nature at the most fundamental level. Tarrying with God means to fully engulf oneself in desire to be where God is, and staying there with anticipation of this envelopment bringing changes.  These changes will naturally radiate from the core of your being, and make you act as He desires and give you an ear to the whispers of the Holy Spirit.  This radiation will be a direct reflection of Christ and will be a witness to others of your close relationship with God.  Each transformation will reveal more characteristics of God, and chief among them will be holiness.  Therefore, where you hang out and what you do there is highly important to your spiritual growth and witness, so tarry with God.


"Thank you for your dedication to the Prayer Team"  John Hawbaker

About the end of the week the former Camp Director, for over 30 years, thanked me for my involvement with the prayer group.  I prayed with the group every day at camp; twice per day we prayed, at 830am and 600pm.  Every night I added myself to the 24-hour prayer clock from 12-1am.  The Vision and purpose of the Prayer Team was set during the initial years of camp and has been an essential and necessary link in the inviting and welcoming of the Holy Spirit and God's blessing on the Camp.  I enjoyed every minute of the experience and learned many things about how to shift my prayer life. (Specifically integrating it more deeply in personal life...The next weeks after camp I did a prayer-fast with a friend).

One of the main lessons I learned was to pray with anticipation and in thanksgiving.  Pray with the desire to hear an answer, but not only that pray thanking God that what he desires to happen will happen.  Yes, praying includes thanksgiving normally, but this type of prayer will enhance the thanks to be all-inclusive in the communication of the prayer.  Saying "thank you God for helping me to deal with this situation..."  or "Thanks for your provisions and loving kindness in this time of need...", and meaning it, will result in a better communication with God.  It may be difficult to stay in that mindset throughout the prayer, but it is a wondrous practice.  Try it, and feel the change in the clarity of your communication with God.


"Thank you for consistently sitting in the 'Amen Corner'."  Darius Salter

I sat in the same spot for every service, first for consistency and secondly for focusing.  Sitting in the left side of the front row of the middle was a great decision.  I could interact with the face of the speakers and not be distracted by the actions of others. I could see the sincerity of the speakers and the convictions of their statements played out on their countenance. It was an excellent way to hear and interact with full focus. 

It must have been nice for the speakers as well, at least due in part to the statement above.  Additionally, the Camp Director joked that he should put my name on the spot and mark it for me.  That didn't take place, but being noticed for consistency is an encouragement to me.  Hopefully, I will continue to have this be noticed, along with other positive attributes.



"I live with no regrets."  Robert Rogers

Robert came to us from Indiana to share the story of how he did not let strategy define his life.  Rather he moved quickly to honor God for the life he had been given and what he was going to do.  His story touched many hearts, but left me wanting more.  So I got his book, Into the Deep, and a CD to keep for myself and a the same and a DVD of his testimony for a friend.  The book is more in depth, but it basically tells the same story that his testimony reveals just with more feeling and emotion, since it was written closer to the tragedy than 10 years from it.  I encourage you to look for the book, support his ministry, Mighty in the Land; and listen to his story here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvRYb6ERVyI).

I was challenged by his music and his choice to live in peace and tranquility, in spite of the drastic changes that took place in his life.  His story moved me to rethink how I share emotions (again), and brought me back to writing my resolutions in January.  I know that I can turn a switch with children, but it is harder to share that with people my own age.  I need to not be overcome by the fear of sharing, but rather allow myself to share in my weakness to help and encourage others.  However, I know that without the strength of God, that is not easy.  It is something I must do, if I am going to learn from mistakes and move on.  God knows and I must trust Him to be the King of my life.


"I pray that his boldness and passion will be strengthened by you...God"  Hannah Murray 


My Faith has officially been restored in the future of the church, basically anyway. (I am still some concerned.)  Saturday night of camp, Darius Salter spoke of being dynamic and potent for Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit (Zechariah 4:6 ), and remembering to rely on God for our boldness and "ferocious fearlessness" to share his gospel.  We must allow the Holy Spirit to flow out of us and through us, which is something I felt in my recent prayer-fast.  His sermon was powerful enough to bring people to the alter in far greater masses than the healing service, with many coming to dedicate their lives to Christ, fully.  I sat in my "amen corner" and prayed for theses people, hoping that many would hear God's voice for the direction of their lives.  It was a joy to pray for them all, and a culmination of my work with the Prayer Team that week.  I was happy with that, but as we finished the evening I felt a tap on my shoulder that changed my evening.

The Teens usually sit right behind me, and this evening service was no different.  Except for the fact that one chose to interact with me, but asking to pray for me.  I don't remember what she said prompted her to pray, but God did for sure.  When I agreed, Hannah Murray came around, sat beside me, and just started praying for me.  It was astounding that all the words she spoke, they were things I had been praying about, only half-heartedly, but praying for nonetheless. She said she observed me, and thought I needed prayer, and what she asked for was more than I bargained for. She asked for a specific request, but I was too embarrassed to tell her a real request (stupidly).  Hannah had faith that was outstanding, and it showed with her willingness to pray with someone else later, after everyone had departed the Main Tabernacle.  That prayer was the biggest challenge and sweetest memory from Roxbury.  I had learned a lot from the speakers and gleaned many insights from the Scriptures and Prayer meetings, but this prayer for me was amazing.

I had the fortune of meeting her in the lunch line the next day, and she chatted with me throughout lunch and even a little after (sadly she was leaving before my family arrived).  We developed a connection enough, that I offered to pray for her and her future as well.  I am glad to have had that experience, because I had been communicating with another friend about joining together in prayer for certain requests that seemed far off and unanswered.  This chance to have been randomly prayed for showed me that God has not forgotten my requests, He is just waiting for me to grow.  I know that I did not doubt much, but some parts of my life are more empty than I readily admit.  The prayer from Hannah, helped me to realize this, even more deeply than I would have by just hearing the Word of God from the speakers.  Thanks Hannah, maybe I will see you again.



So that is my summary of Roxbury Holiness Camp.  I really hope that you enjoyed it and that some of the insights that I gathered will have a positive effect on your life.  I am already looking forward for next year and learning that I am made for God's love.  I want to take others, and I want to share with them the joy of life that can be found at Roxbury, while abiding with God. God has his arms open wide, let Him take you in.



 

Song Time: "The River" (2002)

"The River"
Chris Tomlin

 When I was held up in chains
The river was free
When I was covered in stains
The river was clean
When I was losing my way
The river found me

I can see the river
I can feel the river
I'm letting go of all I hold onto
Let it wash away

When we were broken inside
The river was love
When we were thirsty and dry
You were more than enough
When we were drowning in lies
The river saved us

I'm dancing in the river
And I'll be here forever
I'm letting go of everything but You
Carry me away

Carry me away...
 

 

So, I was at Roxbury Holiness Camp last week, and the morning speaker on Saturday brought this song to mind as I listened.  He had talked about holiness, and how it affects us, the previous day.  He said that we must spend time with God to become more like Him, though our association with Him.  We must communicate with God on a highly regular basis and just "hang out"/tarry with Him; the more time spent in God's presence, the holier we will become.  The pastor's sermon on this morning was even deeper...

He directed us to an obscure passage in the midst of Ezekiel, that talked about a vision received by the prophet.  As we read the passage, I was not initially sure what was going to be discussed, and wow was it pertinent to life.  The Scripture was from chapter 47 verses 1-6. Looking at this recorded vision shows the connect to and meaning of this song.

Notice that the river in the passage comes from the Temple (the Dwelling Place of the Most High God) and represents His will and presence.  If you interpret the message of the vision, without looking later in the chapter, you will see the need for us to step out into the deep, into the fullness of God's mercy, grace, and direction. Ezekiel followed the man into the depths as he measured the distance from the relative "safety" of the shore/bank. 

Each of the first three measurements took the prophet to a place in the river where he could securely stand on his own, remaining connected to the bank and shoreline.  It surely was more difficult to stand as the water was deeper and deeper and the swiftness increased.  Greater trust was either placed in the firmness of the riverbed, or the flow of the river.  Remaining grounded in the mud, does not disqualify us from God's grace, as we enter it when we step into the river of his provision and guidance.  Entering is a good first step, but as we become mature Christians, we must experience a greater fulfillment of God's mercy as we spend more time in the presence of His Holy Spirit.  However, there is a time in which we must relinquish self-determination and self-reliance and Fully Rely on God, by letting go of all we hold onto, and stepping into the unreachable depths of the ever-flowing river.

There is a point in our lives, both mental and spiritual, when we reach the place to give up control of every part of our being.  This part may come once; it may occur many times.  The decision may be hard or easy; it takes trust and commitment, but mostly trust.  Allowing the presence of God to be all around us, in us, and through us, will give us more than enough.  We just need to be willing to let go of the shoreline, launch out into the deep and fully trust in God's deliverance and provision.  We may not know where the flow of the river will take us, what will occur in our lives, but we are told not to worry. (Matthew 6:25-34)  God will take care of us.

The choice should not be difficult, but our desire to stay connected with the world and our sinful nature prevents total commitment to God's holy will.  Our God is always with us, in spite of our connection with what he hates (sin); He will reach out to you until you plunge into the uncrossable, unfathomable depths of his mercy, grace, and love.  The peace and tranquility of the fullness of God can be felt when we "flow with the go" of the mighty river flowing from the presence of God.  His will is good, pleasing, and perfect (Romans 12:1-2).  It is then that you will be surrendered to the direction of his way, to make you what you ought to be.  Step into the ever-flowing, ever-changing river of God's divine, omnipotent presence.

 

Oh, let us launch out on this ocean so broad,
Where floods of salvation o’erflow;
Oh, let us be lost in the mercy of God,
Till the depths of His fullness we know.

Prayer Redux

So this last week was Roxbury Holiness Campmeeting.  As much as I want to talk about the fullness of my week, it is best that I wait until I have had time to more fully understand those words spoken in the many sessions.  One thing that I do understand is that the power of prayer is how God moves. I have desired to attend a full week of Camp for awhile now, and participate in the prayer team.

The Prayer team meets twice a day during camp, at 830 and at 1800, to pray for the entire camp and reflect the importance of prayer both during the week and after our time there.  Everyday many people attended the prayer services to pray for the camp:  the speakers, the director, the attenders, the staff, and most importantly the guiding of the Holy Spirit.  It is that dedication to prayer and thanksgiving that has made the Camp a place where people meet God and find his direction.

I cannot say that I received that direction fully, but I can say that this past week has given me a deeper appreciation for the need to talk to God, and one prayer time, after Saturday evening service, has renewed my faith in the next generation of Christians, although I am still not sure I can worship with them, but that is a different story.

In my last blog post, I noted that prayer has three main parts.  Giving little coverage to the importance of being thankful to God.  In our times of petition, we should not really "demand" things of God; asking is not always the best way either.  Instead, we should thank God that he is going to fulfill his will in each of our lives.  We must know that he is willing to allow the Holy Spirit to work in mysterious ways, and we must thank Him for his omnipotence and omniscience in answering our prayers.

One of the evening sessions of prayer was spent with this idea in mind, that we must thank God for what he will do.  He is beyond awesome, he knows what we need, and when we offered our meager thanks for his effective working, the moving of the Holy Spirit, and the touching of hearts to hear God's voice, boy did He answer.  We placed our trust in God to work according to his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13) and that he could affect each life in the Camp and outside.  His incomparable glory was shown each day after in an even more powerful way.

The next morning we all prayed around the alter of the Main Tabernacle, in the seats, and on the platform for the service, and God continued his incredible work.  People came offering their lives in service to God, their wholeness for his holiness, and their actions for his purpose.  The speakers spoke words given by God and the services were directed by the Spirit that walked the aisles and pew-rows.  Many more continued to flow toward the front each evening and even in the afternoon sessions.  A number made first-time commitments to allow God control in their lives, more came to rededicate their lives, and some came for further grace. 

I sat on the center-front pew for ever service and witnessed the full alter every night.  I saw the prayer warriors being directed by the Spirit of the Lord:  how to pray, for whom to pray, what to pray for, and when to sit in silence.  I sat in my bench crying out to God in prayer and asking for his work to be done in the hearts of those that approached the alter.  Many souls found liberty, guidance, and direction as they fell to their knees before God.  This action was happening before we had this "thanks-focused" prayer time.  It was humbling to be a part of it.

My point in this description, is not to bring glory to the Camp and to uphold the ability of the speaker, but rather to show the affectiveness of God when we give up control and allow him to work. We can fill the earth with glorious testimony when we seek His face and allow God's will to be done.  God is great and he does marvelous things.  It is easy to pray in thanksgiving for what God had done, but it is much harder to thank him for what he will do.  We must always remember to have a Spirit of adoration and thanks as we come to converse with God.  He will hear and answer prayers.



My personal testimony is of this holds true.  I mentioned that I sat in the front for each service and prayed during each alter-call.  On Saturday evening, I was in intense prayer for a personal friend and prayer team member, and had paused from praying to gather my thoughts, and I felt a tap on my shoulder ask someone asked if she could pray for me. Needless to say, I said yes, and a teenager stepped around the corner and sat next to me.  She commented on seeing me worship and pray and started praying for me.  Saying how she saw in me a passion for God's work, a desire to serve and live for God, and a love for people...boom, not just welling up with tears, but a stream built up.  She continued to pray, but I have no idea what it was about, until she stopped and asked for a specific request.  Sadly embarrassment kicked in, and I did not ask for a deep, hidden request.  I instead asked her to pray for my future and a job.  But wow, she prayed a powerful prayer in humility before God, asking with expectation.

She just sat with me for a time after, in silence, as what she had done sunk in.  The Spirit of God had moved in her, and a greater work than she understood, began in me.  I did find out her name, and that she was leaving the next day, but she went off to pray for another before I could chat with her more, and thank Hannah Murray.  I saw her talking and praying with another girl later, but never got the chance to talk that night, sad that I would not see her again, unless she was at prayer the next day. 

Although she didn't make it, I managed, by the grace of God, to get in the lunch line with her(Sunday lunch lines are looong at Roxbury)!  I was able to find out more about her and thank her officially.  I didn't tell her all that her prayer meant to me, but I was able to relay it through our conversation.  As we ate, I even found out about her trouble narrowing her decision about future plans.  We finished lunch and I offered to reciprocate her action, and pray for her.  I am not sure I was as affective, in touching her heart, as she was with her prayer, but I do know that she left joyfully.  I may not ever see her again (at least until next year), but I do know we had a positive encounter with God both times.

That encounter, along with the word of God given by the speakers, has renewed my faith in the next generation and brought about other mental changes. I know I am not fully sanctified to God, I have not fully entrusted my whole life to God, and my prayer time, is going to improve.  My desire to serve others has strongly increased.  My resolutions, as going to be a success, I a going to have better communion with God, and my prayers will thank him for what He has done, what God is doing, and what He will do in/with my life.  I am starting again, on the personal level, but thanks to God prompting a young girl to pray for me, positive changes will take place.  Praise be to God!  My soul has been awakened.